I think I have a travel hangover.

It's been a busy couple of weeks, jumping straight into working at Scotty's kick-ass new shop. Time has been flying by, but the distraction is more than welcome; the few times that I've had a minute to think about my own life and what the heck I'm supposed to do now, it gets a little depressing. The trough after the big wave. After over a year of every day being the realization of some goal, going back to the suspended animation of the great Washington holding tank is more than a little anti-climactic. Fortunately I've got someone else's life to focus on for a while so I don't have to think about mine. I know it's total impatience to want to know the next step right now (I was ancy within a day of being back) but that's the nature of a goal-oriented mind I suppose.

I miss my backpack. It's been leaning up against the futon looking all sad and empty. No symbolism there I promise. Last week I pulled a few clothes out of storage, you know, blue jeans, the normal stuff that doesn't go on the road. Looking into the little unit at all of my stuff, I realized that I didn't miss any of it. Most of it is still sitting there and probably will be for months. Even the excitement of a change of clothes wore off in about 2 days and I found myself thinking, 'What am I going to do with all this stuff?!' Maybe it's just me, but it seems so much easier to find something to wear when you've only got 2 or 3 things to pick from. I miss the simplicity of everything having its place in the pack, being totally sufficient with so little stuff, even getting stronger arms from packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking and carrying everything everywhere I went. Oh well. I picked up a section of my old running route and feel way better on it after being away for a year, so that's an encouragement.

As for all the plans, ideas and lofty optimistic thoughts I had on the way back? Abandoned like a paper ship. A different perspective has made me totally un-optimistic and un-motivated and all those seemingly great ideas don't seem so great at the moment. This could have a lot to do with the weather too though. The sun is out today, thank God, 'cuz it's been really cold lately. (Everyone else says it's nice, but I don't believe it!) I think this is the 3rd nice day in 2 weeks. That's 3 blessings to count!

Some time by the lake this morning listening to music and soaking in some morning sun did a lot of good, and today I'm actually able to focus on some work [aside from being distracted by writing this page]. I want to stay here through the summer and help my bro, after which I have no idea what will happen. Maybe try to get tour guide job? Maybe go back to South America and work on a farm? Or who knows, maybe I'll decide to be a city person after all, don some sensible high-heels and a skirt suit, and devote the rest of my life to a fluorescent-lit office. Ha.